Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
