and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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