I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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