We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Your dad touched me again.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize