i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
