Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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