Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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