he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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