and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
