Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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