If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
