Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Hippo gnu deer
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
