I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I need to sanitize my soul.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
