She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
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Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
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Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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