you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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