Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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