now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
