i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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