i think i have herpe
just one?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
