The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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