Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
