You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
