he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
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I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
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I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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