I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
