I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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