I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
