May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
