so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I look better un-naked...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Panties = found
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