I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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