if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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