Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
