The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Randomize
