Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
