this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
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My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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