Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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