Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize