she was so not down for the gang bang
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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