weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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