Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
