Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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