Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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