It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
