I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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