I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This baby is an asshole
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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