Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
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