WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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