Do you still have your period?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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