Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
