is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I forget how to act sober
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
