do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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