Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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