There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
