She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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