Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
