One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
